If you've been in the dating scene for a while, you'd know what ghosting is. For the uninitiated, however, ghosting is the act of suddenly cutting all forms of contact with someone you were otherwise interacting with on a regular basis. While this is not limited to romantic situations, that is where it is most prevalent. It can also be observed in friendships, and sometimes, in informal work situations too. While it might seem like the only viable option to many, ghosting never really is a good call. Not only is it toll taking on the person at the receiving end, it also eventually makes the ghoster guilt ridden. And if you really like them but ghosted them because communicating your feelings was too much, good luck getting them to trust you again.
What has made it so easier for this phenomenon to be common is the rising popularity of dating apps and online platforms that make the process of meeting new people at a snap so easy bringing a perceived abundance of several options that can sometimes lead to people having this kind of a disposable attitude towards potential partners.
Some popular reasons why people ghost:
- Fear of hurting the front person’s feelings by making a confrontation about it.
- Losing interest as you find more appealing options.
- A wave of overwhelm hits you as the intensity of the connection increases.
- Having commitment issues and lacking emotional vulnerability.
While the person who ghosted might feel his actions to be justifiable and valid given they put themselves first, they often fail to empathize by realising the impact it could have on the other person involved.
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How to avoid ghosting in relationships
- Setting expectations that are realistic to the person’s personality: Understanding that not every person you might strike a connection with will lead to a lasting relationship.
- Open communication: Let the front person know your intentions right off the bat to prevent any sort of misunderstanding.
Practice self-care: When you engage in putting time and energy into yourself, it causes your self-esteem to boost and helps your emotional well-being. - Seeking closure within: If and when you realise that you have been ghosted, try to find peace without having that expectation of an explanation from the person who ghosted you.
- Learn, learn and learn: Use incidents like these as opportunities for diving into yourself and exploring personal growth and reflection.
- Seek support: Your first step should be to seek support. Consider talking to a therapist as it might help you navigate through what you’re feeling about the relationship and the person you’re with.
- Have a conversation: Once you have navigated what you’re feeling, why you’re feeling it, and what you want to do about it, express the same concerns directly, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
- Provide an explanation: If not continuing the relationship is something that you have decided on, a short, respectful message giving an explanation for the same should be something that you give.
- Set boundaries: Set a boundary by rather communicating that you need space or time, or both, rather than resorting to ghosting.
Communicate well to form better connections
With the rise of dating and relationships beginning through the digital context, the dynamics will also change with respect to how people date and maintain their relationships. There are apps now that implement features to discourage someone from ghosting by sending prompts to respond to any message that is being avoided. It is essential to understand better the impact of ghosting and the importance of having the presence of emotional intelligence in dating to help reduce the prevalence of ghosting.
Such a shift can bring about cultural changes that value building authentic quality connections over their quantity, which will in turn result in more meaningful interactions that have a lesser probability in being ghosted. Remember to prioritize kindness, respect and emotional well-being in all your relationships throughout the walk of life, as you continue to explore human interaction through the intersection of technology.