Is your brother the Ross to your Monica, or is he the David to your Alexis? Check this list and find out. 

On Raksha Bandhan 2021, we bring to you a compilation of onscreen sibling duos we love for being realistic and relatable. Read more on ZeeZest.com.

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<p>When we think of healthy relationships, nothing rings as true as emotional support. Chemistry can come and go, and biology often changes—but a bond built on an emotional security blanket can weather just about any storm. However, when one partner leaves this magic ingredient out of the equation, you’ve got a recipe for disaster. Rather, a relationship with an emotionally unavailable partner.</p><p>You must have heard the term ‘emotionally unavailable’ a million times—be it through pop-cultural references or unfortunate experiences of close friends. Now, if you find yourself in a similar situation and are wondering whether your partner fits the bill, then sit tight. We are decoding what makes a partner emotionally unavailable and what you should do if you’re with one.</p><h2>What does it mean to be emotionally unavailable?</h2><figure class="image"><img src="https://assets.zeezest.com/images/PROD_Lil-d_1631719058097.gif"><figcaption>© GIPHY</figcaption></figure><p>On the surface, understanding emotional unavailability can seem simple. But the roots of the problem go much deeper than just not talking about feelings openly. Simply put, a person who is emotionally unavailable is someone who finds it difficult to deal with emotions—be it their own or their partners.</p><p>Explains Neeta Shetty, a Mumbai-based psychotherapist and relationship expert: “In a relationship, when one partner is not available for mindful listening, talking, or sharing, it is a sign of emotional unavailability. Such a person may often walk away from situations where emotions are involved.”</p><p>It’s this lack of emotional connection and depth that then starts posing challenges because the relationship is formed based on mismatched expectations.</p><h2>What causes emotional unavailability?</h2><p>While it’s easy to chalk up emotional unavailability to commitment phobia and other similar constructs, the truth is that there are a lot of other reasons why your partner could be closed off emotionally.</p><h3>1. Patriarchy</h3><figure class="image"><img src="https://assets.zeezest.com/images/PROD_Cry-gif_1631718900492.gif"><figcaption>© GIPHY</figcaption></figure><p>To begin with, Shetty points out the role patriarchal families have to play in all this. “In Indian families while growing up boys are not allowed to cry or show any vulnerabilities,” she says. And after they marry and start to show affection towards their wives, they are often taunted for being henpecked—especially in joint families.</p><h3>2. Marital role models</h3><figure class="image"><img src="https://assets.zeezest.com/images/PROD_Angie_1631719040497.gif"><figcaption>© GIPHY</figcaption></figure><p>Not to mention, the way our parents behave in their marriage influences our attitudes too. “Traditionally in families, men are the providers and women are the nurturers. These are the societal roles we fill. So, if children very rarely see their fathers being emotionally expressive or being available for their mothers, they grow up to believe that’s how a healthy relationship should be,” explains Shetty.</p><h3>3. Mental health</h3><figure class="image"><img src="https://assets.zeezest.com/images/PROD_Homer_1631719007158.gif"><figcaption>© GIPHY</figcaption></figure><p>But there’s more to emotional unavailability than just gender roles and patriarchy. Certain psychological issues like anxiety or PTSD can be at play too—which, Shetty suggests, need to be evaluated by a mental health professional.</p><p>AlsoRead0</p><h2>Is YOUR partner emotionally unavailable? </h2><figure class="image"><img src="https://assets.zeezest.com/images/PROD_girl_1631719089461.gif"><figcaption>© GIPHY</figcaption></figure><p>Wondering if your ‘reserved’ partner is truly emotionally unavailable? Well, here are some red flags to look out for according to Shetty: </p><ol><li><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%);">Your partner gets angry or irritable every time you start talking about your feelings.</span></li><li><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%);">They never try to broach any emotional subjects on their own.</span></li><li><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%);">They often procrastinate on emotional conversations, promising to resume them later, but there never seems to be a right time to have the discussion.</span></li><li><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%);">Your partner always takes the practical route to situations instead of a more emotional approach—and you end up feeling as though your perspective is misunderstood or ignored.</span></li><li><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%);">They rarely pay heed to days like birthdays and anniversaries that are important to you—chalking them down to just another day.</span></li><li><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%);">They don’t discuss their childhood or emotional issues with you at all.</span></li></ol><h2>In a relationship with an emotionally unavailable partner? Here’s what to do next</h2><figure class="image"><img src="https://assets.zeezest.com/images/PROD_Selena_1631719077203.gif"><figcaption>© GIPHY</figcaption></figure><p>Let’s get honest for a second here: It’s not easy being romantically involved with somebody who is not on the same page as you when it comes to emotions. But that doesn’t mean all is lost. You can try to salvage the situation by having a healthy discussion.</p><p>“Start by talking about what you feel, think, and expect. If you see a mismatch of expectations, suggest what you think can be done to create a more level playing field,” recommends Shetty. However, if healthy and open communication doesn’t seem to be working for you, Shetty suggests couples counselling. “Don’t allow resentment and bitterness to build up in your relationship. Seek professional help before that happens,” she adds.</p><p>That said, if there is a lack of open communication as well as resistance towards therapy, you may have to take a hard look at your relationship. “Give it your best shot and observe your partner for a while. If she or he still isn’t willing to change or meet you halfway, then you need to think about your future,” advises Shetty.</p><p>When dealing with an emotionally unavailable partner, having practical and realistic expectations is the key. But if they are not being met, it might be time to do the hard thing and part ways to look out for your emotional health, concludes Shetty.  </p>

If you and your partner seem to be operating on two different emotional frequencies, then emotional unavailability might be the problem. Don’t worry, here’s help! 

Struggling in your love life because your partner doesn’t share his feelings? We’ve got expert advice for you on ZeeZest.com

How to deal with an emotionally unavailable partner

Involved With An Emotionally Unavailable Partner? Here’s What To Do Next 

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<p>The term ‘revenge bedtime procrastination’ may be new, but this habit of purposeful delay of sleep, to carve some ‘me’ time for yourself has always existed. This is especially true with the boom in technology and the rise of so many social media platforms. It's like you are taking revenge for not having time for yourself during the day by fitting in leisure time in the evening or night. However, it comes at the expense of sleep. Unfortunately, this mostly means spending time on social media and doom scrolling. Late-night scrolling and gadgets are some of the main reasons why most people are sleep deprived today, because not only does light interfere with sleep, it also stimulates our minds.</p><h2>Causes and signs of revenge bedtime procrastination</h2><figure class="image"><img src="https://assets.zeezest.com/images/PROD_Bedtime_Procrastination-inside-image-1_1630913199324.jpg"></figure><p>Human beings are the only species who sacrifice sleep to fulfil their personal, professional, or social interests. Because sleep is free, we take it for granted till we are chronically deprived of it, and then our body starts to show symptoms. Social media and the internet today have portrayed a different story of success due to which most believe that to be successful you have to sacrifice sleep. But that is wrong. There is no recipe to success without good health. Another reason is that since the pandemic, the lines between personal and professional lives have got blurred.</p><p>AlsoRead0</p><p>While most people blame the pandemic for this, the truth we have to accept is that no amount of blaming will help improve this till we take personal responsibility, set boundaries in our work-life, maintain a proper schedule and follow it with discipline. Using social media as an excuse for recreation to the point it’s harming our own self is like self-sabotage. Use social media if you want to, but responsibly.</p><figure class="image"><img src="https://assets.zeezest.com/images/PROD_Revenge-bedtime-procastination--inside_1631004642390.jpg"></figure><p>This also happens when you do not have a solid bedtime ritual which is a powerful way to disconnect yourself from the daytime chaos. A lack of structure in your evening routine can make it easy for you to resort to social media and other unhealthy activities to relax. You can instead create a soothing ritual for yourself—a warm bath, praying, journaling, spending time with family, making love, meditation—which are not only powerful sleep promoters but also help you truly relax.</p><h2>The impact of revenge bedtime procrastination on our body and mind</h2><figure class="image"><img src="https://assets.zeezest.com/images/PROD_Bedtime_Procrastination-inside-image-2_1630913216812.jpg"></figure><p>This condition has a direct effect on sleep, and a lack of slumber has a direct as well as indirect effect on our body and mind. There is scientific research backing this up too. Sleep deprivation is one of the definite root causes of most illnesses today, from low immunity to obesity, high blood pressure, mismanaged blood sugar levels, low emotional resilience, weak memory, accelerated ageing, hormonal imbalances, and even cancer. Although diseases are multifactorial, sleep deprivation is one main factor. And unfortunately, there is no replacement or alternative to sleep. Sleep is where the real magic takes place in terms of healing and recovery.</p><p>AlsoRead1</p><h2>Ways to cope with it</h2><figure class="image"><img src="https://assets.zeezest.com/images/PROD_Bedtime_Procrastination-inside-image-3_1630913229695.jpg"></figure><p><strong>1. Self-control</strong>: Out of all the multitude of coping mechanisms, first comes self-discipline. We are always going to be surrounded by distractions in some way or the other, but it is our self-discipline that can rescue us from getting sucked into these distractions. Even if one wishes to access social media after work hours, it is recommended that they do so with an intention. Without setting an intention behind logging on to social media, we will always end up mindlessly scrolling and that will eat up our precious time that should be invested in sleep.</p><p><strong>2. Time Management</strong>: Time flies and days turn into evenings and nights even before we realise it. It is thus necessary to budget time well and have a proper plan in place to manage it. When we do that, we gain the ability to run the day, instead of the day running us. I always encourage people to take out 8 hours from their 24 hours of the day for sleep, since that is non-negotiable, and then plan their day from the remaining 18 hours. In that they could plan, work, enjoy personal and family time and exercise so that sleep never bears the brunt.</p><p><strong>3. Prioritising self-time through proper planning</strong>: It's important to plan your day in such a way that you do not leave time for yourself towards the end of the day. Our daily calendar must schedule time for self too, so we do not eat up our time meant for sleeping. Time for self is as important as work, workouts, and household chores.</p><p>AlsoRead2</p><h2>When to consult an expert?</h2><figure class="image"><img src="https://assets.zeezest.com/images/PROD_Bedtime_Procrastination-inside-image-5_1630913238078.jpg"></figure><p>Mostly when people apply and practice discipline and time management, it becomes easy to handle bedtime revenge procrastination. However not many can practice discipline and hence look for complicated solutions. The solution however could be simple. Having said that, if one feels that they have tried enough and yet are not able to handle this and it's affecting their day-to-day life, they can consult a life coach who can help them handle this better. In extreme cases, one might also need to take sessions with a psychologist. </p><p>Ultimately, it's all about taking time out for yourself throughout the day, so you are not cramming it in and declining sleep. Your mind and body will thank you when your head can just hit the pillow at a reasonable time.</p>

Do you sacrifice sleep for leisure time? Luke Coutinho suggests ways to snap out of it. 

Learn about the causes of revenge bedtime procrastination and ways to deal with it from health coach Luke Coutinho. Read more on ZeeZest.com. 